Summer- after a monochromatic winter, summer offers such a vibrancy of color. The sky looks bluer, the grass and trees encompass a wide variety of greens and the flowers… suffice it to say I am amazed by the colors nature creates. We see these colors and our eyes rejoice.
But, what does it mean to see? Is it just the visual light waves coming into our eyes and transforming into pictures in our minds? Or can it be something more? How would you like to “see” this summer?
What if you spent this summer seeing your child, your spouse, the people in your life in a new light? What if you really tried to “see” the people who matter to you?
In the movie Avatar, the Na’vi people greet each other by saying “I see you”. I believe this greeting describes the difference between seeing just the color of a person’s eyes, or how they wear their hair and seeing this person for who they are inside.
How do we begin to “see”?
- Try to notice something new every day- especially if you drive or walk the same route, try to notice something new.
- Make eye contact with your child when he/she speaks to you. When you do this one simple thing, you make a better connection and can better understand your child. Emotions and the meaning behind what a person is saying can be better conveyed by body language than by words.
- The most profound way to better “see” your child is to get a better understanding of your child’s temperament.
Which of the following words best describe your child?
Cheerful, engaging, fun-loving, agreeable, pleasant, easy-going,
adventurous, energetic, determined, serious, logical, polite
Carol Tuttle has written The Child Whisperer which outlines 4 temperament types:
- The Fun-Loving Child: Connects to the world socially. Expressing a light, bouncy energy, this child starts smiling when given freedom to explore new ideas and new friends.
- The Sensitive Child: Connects to the world emotionally. With a quiet, subtle energy, this child starts thriving when given time to plan and the support to speak up.
- The Determined Child: Connects to the world physically. Moving with a swift, active energy, this child stops ignoring you and starts engaging when allowed enough physical activity.
- The More Serious Child: Connects to the world intellectually. With a straightforward, exact energy, this child stops refusing and starts respecting when given logical answers and time alone.
Clarity around your child’s temperament can help you find strengths and understand how to best connect with your child, in other words, better “see” your child.
I highly recommend Carol Tuttle’s book, but if you want a quick overview of the 4 temperament types and strengths associated with each, email me at Beth@Parent-Solutions.com and I will send you the overview. Dr. Brene Brown has said:
“In order for connection to happen we have to be seen, really seen. People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. They have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves first, and build connection by letting go of being who they thought they should be for being authentically who they are. We must learn to believe we are enough”.
In the end- all any of us want is to be seen and loved for who we truly are. Make this your summer of “SEEING”.